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Showing posts from September, 2016

蒙福幸福blessed😇

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20160926 Recently I have been very depressed and emotional. Application for moe was unsuccessful, couldn't find new student etc. Every time I get very upset, 鸡米always try to cheer me up (and I think he got quite annoyed also😅) He always said, "Things will be better ok?" But sometimes I was like, "Yea, like you really understand my situation." I tried to change my attitude towards my life now. Tried to be happy for stuffs. And now, I felt much more better. Earlier this month, I was planning budget for my money spending. When I realised that I actually need more money, I hesitated for giving tithes and offerings. If I don't give, I can have more savings! I knew that God has given me a lot of blessings - job, place to stay, boyfriend that love me a lot... It was only my greediness, made me upset and stop giving thanks to Him. After thinking about it so much, I finally left my life in God's hands. Trust him that he'll provide me with what I need. ...

欲望

20160920 常常不自觉的难过,上星期还大哭一场无法控制。 有时也不明白自己为什么会这样,是我对物质的要求太高了吗?总是忍不住的去羡慕别人,想要的东西不用付出什么努力就可以得到了。而我为了衣食住行要花时间在工作上,却还是总是不够。弹琴又弹得不怎么样,但是也没什么时间练习,有一种两头不到岸的感觉。 对于现在的生活我其实真的已经很感恩了。要不是有Kiki让我住他们家,要不是鸡米也在很多的事情上给了我帮助,我现在又会怎么样呢? 工作什么的,我是真的很感恩的。我知道上帝赐给我的已经好多好多,是我自己太贪心… 对于最近跟鸡米的乐团(@feedbeck)的演出也是充满感恩的。谢谢他们愿意让我和他们一起演出。虽然对于我僵硬地演出这件事,我心里其实是很不好受的。我知道要跟着音乐一起舞动,但是我真的不太熟那些歌啊。我其实已经有努力了啊…唉 我知道还有更多的人比我还要辛苦努力一百倍一千倍,我好像只是在自怜自艾。 但是要到什么时候所有的事情才能好好地在轨道上?这样漂流我的心好累啊…