Just Being Me

20151107 是的现在半夜十二点了。 I'm really glad that I found him. I really love you and happy to be with you. 但是心里其实是很担心的，因为不是基督徒的关系，我知道这条路可能会比较艰难。但是真的很希望可以好好地走到最后。真的是不知所措心乱如麻。 Finally got to sing in Friday ensemble class. I was a little bit nervous haha. But I still made it. Although it was'nt really good :( Here's a part of the performance. November please be nice.

2015.08.11 And so I received a gift (for no reason) from my student's mother. Thank God I met someone so kind that even let me stay at their house. And now she bought me a perfume out of sudden. I'm really really thankful! <3 There's still so many people that love me. Thank God that let Tiann and Z be my best friend. Whenever I'm feeling down, they are the people that can cheer me up with just a sentence. Thank God that I had a great holiday with friends and family. Although I somebody faded out from my life, but I still have y'all to brighten my life. Oh yea, Innisfree's products are damn nice! Must try! Ok, I'm done here. 9am class tomorrow. Sighs. But still, looking forward to tomorrow! Hiak hiak!

2015.08.04 Aha! I'm really feeling ok now. Finally, after three months of sadness. School has started. I actually hate this question: "What kind of music do you like?" and "Why are you here in Lasalle?" Because I don't really know the answer. Because I have nothing else to do. I've been thinking about what should I do in the future. But yea, "我活着是为讨神喜悦而活". Although I still only think about myself most of the time>< 忙了一天一静下来整个人忽然觉得寂寞了起来。Why can't I just enjoy my single life, haiz== 虽然很累但是不想睡觉，开着电脑听着EDM/Dance的歌突然觉得很顺耳满好听的哈哈。 Anw真的应该要睡了，明天又是九点的课。 不能带着黑眼圈见明天的朋友哈哈。

2015.07.27 #firstpostinenglish Just realised that I haven't been single for more than 5 years. It's very hard to move on. Whenever I see him around, which I really cannot avoid to see him, my heart was being torn apart. Like every single time. But luckily, when he's not around, I would be fine. School's starting in a week, I won't be seeing him so often anymore. Was telling a new friend about my exes yesterday night. Suddenly feel that I was a terrible girl. Haiz. Things just get complicated when you can't really get them out of your life after breaking up with them. Always lost myself in a relationship and this still isn't the worst part. I literally forgot about God when I was together with someone. I put him before Him. Maybe it's time to focus on myself and the most important-God. Psalm 62:8 Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts before Him. God is our refuge. 你們眾民當時時倚靠他，在他面前傾心吐意，神是我們的避難所。 Learning to trust in H...

2015.07.22 ＃真的很抱歉 先说说今天吧。 家里忽然停电，我忽然想吃Oreo McFlurry。所以载着弟弟到了Taman Daya的McD却发现机器坏了没有雪糕。因为想吃的心情太迫切，便决定去Taman Mount Austin的，结果！也是坏掉！是倒了几辈子的霉啊！？ 但是后来，妈妈说带我们一起去Tebrau City，然后就在那里吃到了抹茶雪糕啦！ 出发前还有神奇的小插曲。因为我忘了我到底有没有锁门，所以我们又绕了回去。 结果却发现妈妈的两个学生就在门口呢，妈妈就说补习已经取消了让他们回家。 我一直感觉这件小事其实也是上帝的安排！ －－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－ 进入正题。 我真的不是故意要放飞机，故意要忽略朋友，故意要看轻友谊的。 我是一个同性朋友很少的人，所以比起异性朋友，我会更加地看重同性朋友。为了同性朋友而放异性朋友的飞机真的也不是我想要的…… 平日里就是大剌剌的人，这点很多朋友都知道的吧。就是那种朋友很多，却也朋友很少的那种人。 已读不回也是因为我真的忙才会真的忘记的，心里真的是又愧疚，又无奈。 对不起，不是故意的... 要做到既不黏人，又看重人真的是好难。 很多时候，我只想窝在家里睡一整天。

2015.07.21 ＃失恋81天 很辛苦，一直以为自己很洒脱很坚强。没有了这个，大不了找下一个。 但是过了两个多月，情况好像没有越来越好。 因为总是会见面，真的很难放下。 一直很纠结于到底为什么那么突然就会分手？让人太难以接受了。 他说，他就是不能一直陪我，不想让我失望。 但是，我并没有一直需要黏着他啊！而且，我也很愿意迁就他啊！ 但是就连谷阿莫都说：是要改什么？就只是你想要的对方给不起而已啊，找个给得起就行了。不是你们以为改变一两个你们以为是问题的细节，就可以影响结局的。 是啊没错，所以，他是被上帝硬生生地从我身边拿走了吗。 上帝是全能的，祂说要有光，就有了光。 约伯记9:8-12 8  他 独 自 铺 张 苍 天 ， 步 行 在 海 浪 之 上 。 9  他 造 北 斗 、 参 星 、 昴 星 ， 并 南 方 的 密 宫 ； 10  他 行 大 事 ， 不 可 测 度 ， 行 奇 事 ， 不 可 胜 数 。 11  他 从 我 旁 边 经 过 ， 我 却 不 看 见 ； 他 在 我 面 前 行 走 ， 我 倒 不 知 觉 。 12  他 夺 取 ， 谁 能 阻 挡 ？ 谁 敢 问 他 ： 你 做 甚 麽 ？ 是啊，祂夺取，谁能阻挡？ 祂要让Ler离开我的身边，祂要把Ler从我的生活中抽走，我有什么能力夺回，有什么资格质问。 但是今天的灵修给了很大的提醒。 我就像约伯一样，只能无奈地、自叹倒霉地说：是啊，上帝就是那最有权柄，成就一切的神。 然而，我们都暂时忘了： 上帝是公义慈爱、良善信实。 I'm daughter of the King, why would He harms me? All he did are for the sake of me, all he did are meant to build a better me. 事实上，失恋过后，我与神的关系又重新亲近了许多。祂还赐了一个新的好朋友R给我，让我们两个伤心的人彼此扶持鼓励。 还在继续学习let go and let God。愿我们选择完全地信靠祂，祂必会有最好的预备。 有个人和我说：“好好预备自己充实自己成为更好的女孩，不怕...